Me: A muther****ing deer hit my car this morning.
WF: As in walked up and hit it? Or as in committed suicide? And as always...are you okay?*
Me: Yeah, this is getting old. I was driving and then felt a shudder, saw the deer flying across the trunk. It took out the triangle window, door knob, the spoiler, and ****ed the trunk.. I'm okay. Shaken and pissed off.
WF: You need to move back to the city. Mother Nature is trying to kill you.**
Me: [Husband]'s shaking his head.
WF: Am I wrong? And seriously? The chicken coop tried to kill him!***
*After years of spotless driving, this last 11 months I've had some vehicular challenges.
** Interestingly enough, the three car accidents were here... in the country.
***As we attempted to do the last bit of construction on the coop, the Husband threw out his back. Spent two and a half days heavily medicated and on his back.
I guess I am a real Country Kitty now--I've been initiated into the Deer Collision Club. The deer ran off. And while I hope he's dead (because otherwise he'd be lame and in pain, I mean), I wish he could have died near the road so I could have at least HARVESTED HIS ROADKILL @SS!!! 'CUZ 50-100 POUNDS OF VENISON TOTALLY WOULD'VE MADE UP FOR TOTALING MY CAR!!! Because, see, this car was a 1996 Saturn. Bluebook value is between $600-$1200. Bye-bye, Saturn.
I am trying to see the bright side of things. As everyone keeps telling me, I came out unharmed. The Boy wasn't in the car, where he would have been showered with broken glass. If I had been driving even a bit slower, the deer would have hit the driver's door rather than the backseat door. And I was lucky that an off-duty sheriff's deputy happened to drive by almost immediately, and he stopped and helped me.
(Kinda off topic, but really not: I am just gonna give a HUGE shout out to the county's sheriff department. Every single accident, these guys have been so helpful and friendly, and I even had three different deputies stop to offer help after the second accident, when I was just waiting for the tow truck. These guys are awesome.)
Anyway. Mother Nature is totally out to get me.