Sunday, October 20, 2013

Mother Nature Is Trying To Kill Me

I've got this great friend who thinks I am totally a City Kitty.  I texted him Friday morning....
Me:  A muther****ing deer hit my car this morning.
WF:  As in walked up and hit it? Or as in committed suicide?  And as always...are you okay?*
Me:   Yeah, this is getting old.  I was driving and then felt a shudder, saw the deer flying across the trunk.  It took out the triangle window, door knob, the spoiler, and ****ed the trunk..  I'm okay.  Shaken and pissed off.
WF:  You need to move back to the city.  Mother Nature is trying to kill you.**
Me:  [Husband]'s shaking his head.
WF:  Am I wrong?  And seriously?  The chicken coop tried to kill him!***

*After years of spotless driving, this last 11 months I've had some vehicular challenges.  
** Interestingly enough, the three car accidents were here... in the country.
***As we attempted to do the last bit of construction on the coop, the Husband threw out his back.  Spent two and a half days heavily medicated and on his back. 

I guess I am a real Country Kitty now--I've been initiated into the Deer Collision Club.  The deer ran off.  And while I hope he's dead (because otherwise he'd be lame and in pain, I mean), I wish he could have died near the road so I could have at least HARVESTED HIS ROADKILL @SS!!!  'CUZ 50-100 POUNDS OF VENISON TOTALLY WOULD'VE MADE UP FOR TOTALING MY CAR!!!  Because, see, this car was a 1996 Saturn.  Bluebook value is between $600-$1200. Bye-bye, Saturn.

Bragging rights?

I am trying to see the bright side of things.  As everyone keeps telling me, I came out unharmed.  The Boy wasn't in the car, where he would have been showered with broken glass.  If I had been driving even a bit slower, the deer would have hit the driver's door rather than the backseat door.  And I was lucky that an off-duty sheriff's deputy happened to drive by almost immediately, and he stopped and helped me.  

(Kinda off topic, but really not:  I am just gonna give a HUGE shout out to the county's sheriff department.  Every single accident, these guys have been so helpful and friendly, and I even had three different deputies stop to offer help after the second accident, when I was just waiting for the tow truck.  These guys are awesome.)

Anyway.  Mother Nature is totally out to get me.

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